There’s a Donut in the Printer

I am seriously beginning to wonder if there is something weird going on. Today I’ve noticed that the manual focus control on my camera won’t work in Macro mode, however, it’s perfectly fine for Super Macro, and all my other manual setting seem to be working normally. I have yet to figure out why anyone would like to shoot in auto-focus mode for Macro photography. It’s a decent little prosumer Canon. It’s great for what it is, but it’s no SLR.

My printer is no longer on the fritz. As expected, after hardly 20 hours of being fully powered off and unplugged, I turned it back on, and there she was – completely fine in every respect. Jail term over and bailed out, the printer is now printing normally.

Earlier today I went to Tim Horton’s and got another Boston Cream donut. I didn’t end up eating any of it. The local Tim Horton’s I go to has a terrible habit of putting hot donuts into  paper carry-out bags, thus sticking the icing to the side of the bag, and fusing the entire donut to the paper. By the time I got to where I was going and the donut had sat in the bag for fifteen minutes and mostly cooled off, my attempt to pull it out resulted in a mangled mess of ex-donut. Since they don’t -by default- give you any napkins and I was wearing dress pants, I just threw the whole thing back into the bag and put it on the floor of my car. What a mess.

Happy Period Control!

This video is all of current, relevant, and hilarious.

Target Women: Birth Control

What a mess

My hair needs to be cut, or dyed, or brushed, or SOMETHING. It’s such a mess. There are 2 giant mattes in it: one at the back, that I’m SURE comes from sleeping with wet hair, and one on the side that seems to be forming into a an inch-wide clump.

It doesn’t even look like a stylized mess, which I could pass off as being some weird look I had been going for, and successfully achieved. It just looks like rats have been suckin’ on it. (Thanks Mrs. Clark…)

I have two options:

1) Wash it, brush it out, and use leave in conditioner and a flat-iron as crutches, or

2) Forget it, and maybe in a year I’ll deal with it.

 

Neither option seems very attractive, so I think I’ll just pray for snow and put on a winter hat.

When WOULD Jesus tap?

…not to mention… how could he with his hands pinned down?

I’ll give Aurelio some credit, considering that he made $40, 000 for this bout, but this fight went to decision, and he still lost.

Griffin defeats Aurelio by unanimous decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27).

This is pulled from a screencap of UFC 86,  and if you’d like to get your own stupid t-shirt, you can visit here. Their website really sucks, and so do their tshirts.

That’s EVERY Mop!

Thane Direct is marketing a product they’re billing as “the world’s ultimate cleaning solution!”

It’s the H2O Mop!

“Quick and super absorbent… for the cleanest floors ever!”

Their last water-based product was the H20 Vac, which was like a giant bong with a suction hose on one end, which might have been useful, as water is probably a pretty good filtration medium for dust and dirt. I think they’ve been hanging out with their prototypes for too long though, as their newest product seems like a dumb joke some high school-kids would come up with.

“Dude, this H2O Vac was a pretty cool idea… I wonder what else we could improve by adding water!”

“Um… a mop?”

“Dude..!   Wait.., what?”

They have failed to realize that an H20 mop is nothing special. EVERY goddamn mop in the world uses water to wash the floor! This is a product for people who are sucked in by infomercials, who are sitting at home actively looking for ways to improve upon products that don’t need improving.

Click through to see their site, or to order your own “amazing H2O portable steam cleaner”. Personally, I’m going to go eat chips and watch the Turbo Jam informercial. Now they’ve supercharged it, so you can burn fat and calories to see results faster than ever!

Tomorrow I’ll post a photo of my television, so it’s a little more obvious to see why I’m watching late-night infomercials.

Anita Ward, Go Away!

It’s been several months of being woken up at 3am to the doorbell ringing, only to find that it’s the same girl, looking for her roommate to buzz her in. I can’t be sure if what the deal is. Maybe she’s lost her keys, maybe it’s just her friend’s house so she never had keys to lose, or maybe she thinks it’s funny to ring EVERY buzzer in the entire building.

At any rate, a few nights ago I took an exacto-knife to the intercom system, chipped the nine coats of paint off, and disconnected the damn thing. If I move to a new place, I’ll re-connect the unit before moving, which is the only reason I labeled the wires.

It makes me angry.

I cannot believe the number of typographical errors I come across. People these days don’t care about spelling, and they don’t care if what they’re writing is understandable. Earlier today I refused to broadcast a 60-second news hit because it was missing an apostrophe. That, in itself, is not worth writing about, but anyone who went to grade four should really know basic grammar.

I used to think that people who didn’t know the difference between they’re, their, and there were idiots. Part of the reason I left university was the fact that I couldn’t justify the cost of the tuition when most of my (first year) classes were spent compiling grocery lists in my head while listening to a T.A. explain basic punctuation. I’ve come to realize that MOST people don’t have a firm grasp of English, and that many people don’t even know how to string a sentence together properly.

Even walking through Bloor West Village, I cringe at several (permanent) signs above the local, high-end businesses. There’s “Her’s Lingerie” and “Remedy’s RX Pharmacy”, just to name the 2 I can think of without much effort.

30 years ago, this kind of shit didn’t exist. No one had email, and no one had an instantaneous way of sending the entire office a nonsensical memo. I’m going to start posting EVERY stupid error I see, starting with Renée Zellweger: