My Peppy Car Needs Healthcare

Driving a car on a spare tire is the social equivalent of having gangrene. Everyone’s been looking at me strangely, and every pebble in the road feels it’s going to kill us. Grace and elegance, we have none. Dancing around corners with the wind in my hair is but a memory. My driving sunglasses are in the glovebox, and the stereo’s turned off, because the peppy car and I are sick.

Coffee Wreck

I was actually dressed rather half-nicely today in jeans and a dress shirt, but just as I was having my last sip of coffee, I managed to -once again- misjudge how much liquid was in the mug. I do this far too often for it to be a mistake, and I’m beginning to wonder if my coffee mugs have it out for me. First it was the appliances, now I’m looking sideways at the pottery. I’ve been doing this my whole life – what I assume to be the ‘last sip’ of coffee tends to be the equivalent of what could have been six last sips, and I end up tipping the mug up at too high of an angle (today while walking up the stairs), and -oops- there goes my drink down my shirt. Damn.

And that’s how I ended up wearing an Atari t-shirt to the office today.

Hawaii Chair

I am watching an ad for the TOBI stupid iron-on-a-stick… Are you KIDDING me?

A long time ago I wrote about the Hawaii Chair. This crap makes me want a Hawaii Chair. This dumb vacuum pretending to be an iron doesn’t look like fun, but that silly old chair could at least pass for a ride or something. You could have a garage sale and charge parents a nickel for rides on it for their kids or something.

The Barack Chia Head grows grass at least… It serves a purpose too I guess. Who names an IRON a ‘TOBI’??

[Update: I apparently wrote 2 posts about that damn Hawaii chair… that damn thing was on tv for a long time… ]

Donuts

Why does a Chocolate Dip donut cost the same as a Boston Cream? A Chocolate Dip is nothing but a Boston Cream with a hole in the middle and no lovely little custard filling. Basically, your eighty-nine cent Chocolate Dip is like the dumb little brother who just tagged along for the ride, but no one really wanted him to come, but mum said he had to, so we brought him to the movies even though everyone actually just wanted to hang out with the way cooler, way older Boston Cream.

Washing Machine Woes

A Pontiac GTO “smoke ’em if you got ’em” t-shirt is apparently never work-place appropriate, even if it is a ’68, and even if your washing machine has been broken for two months.

Stupid Roads

Today on the way to work, I saw a pigeon as it was trying to crawl up on to the curb just a few seconds after it had been hit by a car. I should have called animal control so they could have come to pick it up. But I didn’t and I think that makes me an asshole.

I keep the Toronto Animal Control phone number in my cell phone just in case I need to call it. 416 338 7297.  There’s been so many times that I’ve been out and come across injured squirrels and birds and little guys that need help and today I didn’t even call them to come help the poor pigeon.

As It Turns Out

It isn’t the electrical in my house that is slightly messed up, it’s the electrical on the ENTIRE STREET. Ugh. How annoying.

But then again… This might be the first real opportunity for me to find a (real) use for all the incredibly shoddy UPS-es I’ve got around here… I didn’t really trust them as a backup power for the fish tank, but they MIGHT be good enough as a secondary backup for the NEXT time that the power goes out AND my blackberry dies in the same night…

Then again… A new UPS might only cost $80.