Parents have eyes in the backs of their heads.

For her birthday this year, all my 16-year old sister wanted was a pair of Birkenstocks. I can remember years and years of Ginny and my Mum and MaryJo wearing those stupid sandals exclusively. In the summer, they let the air in, and in the winter -paired with wool socks- they did OK for running around the house chasing kids.

Virginia and I MADE FUN OF THEM. “What the hell are those! You guys are granolas! God, don’t wear those with socks! You are not wearing those to my school…

And now.. my sister, who is bigger than me, and able to beat me up… is wearing hippie sandals. With socks.

I’m beginning to wonder if I can get away with wearing them in my office… If the socks match and don’t have any holes in them, does it count as business-casual? My birthday is coming up in August, and my mum has offered to buy me a pair… I think I’m turning into an old lady. Long gone are the days of choosing footwear based on its fashion-appeal, and here come the days of “I am NOT wearing heels ALL DAY just so people don’t look at me weird!”

Fuck, at least they’re not crocs

She’s going to be pissed off that I posted this, but at least her name’s not attached to this lovely little poem I received in my email today… Thanks Mum!

Birkenstock, Birkenstock, where have you been?
I’ve been hanging at Pride Week, I’m really a Queen
Birkenstock, Birkenstock, what did you there?
I checked out the armpits and counted the hair!
Birkenstock Birkenstock, what have you won?
Admiration of lesbians, dykes and some nuns!

love, your mum xoxoxox

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