That’s EVERY Mop!

Thane Direct is marketing a product they’re billing as “the world’s ultimate cleaning solution!”

It’s the H2O Mop!

“Quick and super absorbent… for the cleanest floors ever!”

Their last water-based product was the H20 Vac, which was like a giant bong with a suction hose on one end, which might have been useful, as water is probably a pretty good filtration medium for dust and dirt. I think they’ve been hanging out with their prototypes for too long though, as their newest product seems like a dumb joke some high school-kids would come up with.

“Dude, this H2O Vac was a pretty cool idea… I wonder what else we could improve by adding water!”

“Um… a mop?”

“Dude..!   Wait.., what?”

They have failed to realize that an H20 mop is nothing special. EVERY goddamn mop in the world uses water to wash the floor! This is a product for people who are sucked in by infomercials, who are sitting at home actively looking for ways to improve upon products that don’t need improving.

Click through to see their site, or to order your own “amazing H2O portable steam cleaner”. Personally, I’m going to go eat chips and watch the Turbo Jam informercial. Now they’ve supercharged it, so you can burn fat and calories to see results faster than ever!

Tomorrow I’ll post a photo of my television, so it’s a little more obvious to see why I’m watching late-night infomercials.

Unapologetic is The New Black

I am going to feel like an old cranky lady by the end of this post, but sometimes it’s permissible. When I was growing up, I was allowed to dress however I wanted, I was allowed to dye my hair, and I was allowed to hang out with whomever I liked. I had a curfew, and though I often came home after its pass, my parents were fairly lenient with it so long as I called to let them know where I was.

Still, I managed to get into my fair share of trouble, and I became pretty good at talking and reasoning my way out of things, but when it came down to it, if they’d had enough, my parents could veto everything I said, and Martial law would come into full force. I basically did what I wanted, and got kicked in the ass if I stepped out of line.

I was on the evening news once. My rugby team had won the Ontario championship and CTV had come to cover the event. I remember getting home after the tournament, and watching the news – twice – just to see myself on the television. I was just a dirty kid in a field and I didn’t even say anything, but it was still fun to see myself on the TV.

These two girls might not have the same kind of parents as I have, but I’m quite sure that they aren’t going to be rushing home to see their segment on the CBS news, especially when their reasoning for their crime is “um… I mean, who doesn’t like money?”

Teens Steal From Girl Scouts

My parents would have been the ones calling the cops.

From FunnyOrDie.com

Eye appointment on Tuesday

My eyes are so bad that I spent 5 minutes today looking at very still bird, only to photograph it, and disover that it was the LNB cover on a small satellite dish.

Pinata?

This is the closest I get to street art. For Easter, this is the arts and crafts project I made for my family. There were a whole bunch of them, and they were taking over the house for awhile. Click through to see the one I made for MaryJo and Greg.

Boo.

This little guy has been happily swinging away for about 8 months now. I don’t know who put it up there, but it’s right outside the first house I lived in when I moved downtown. It’s very cute, I think.

Terrible

Today I got out of my car and stepped on a snail. I knew immediately what had happened, and it broke my heart.

I looked around, and there was another snail walking moving along the sidewalk, and then I felt even worse because that snail had heard his friend crunch.

It occurred to me that I should have had a little broom to sweep in front of me everywhere I went, but then I remembered that I’m not a fan of Jainism, really, or Buddhism, or whatever it is where people wear smocks and push Swiffers around in front of themselves all the time.

Walking into my apartment, I hoped that the snail was really dead, and had died quickly, because I didn’t want it to be half-squashed and crying and miserable with no hope of getting help.

There are no ambulances for snails, so far as I’m aware.

The Lounge Singer

Now airing on Movieola is The Lounge Singer, one of the best short films I’ve seen in a long time, and it was made in 24 hours for the Toronto 24-hour Film Challenge. Most short films take months to make, and some of the shorts we air are truncated versions of feature films. Though there are several films that I love, but going through a pile of DVDs today from the film challenge, this one stood out. I love musicals, and having done several 24-hour challenges in university, I can relate to the pressure of having to come up with a quality product in such a short timeframe. Despite one blatant continuity error, which can be forgiven due to the film’s incredibly tight shooting schedule, The Lounge Singer truly exemplifies what it means to be a Short Film. It’s short. It’s funny. It’s well-done. It’s all that you get in a feature, but in a fraction of the time.

The Lounge Singer