I’m sorry, I’m sorry,

Maybe it’s just my radio, but all the audio around here sounds all FLAT. It doesn’t matter what I’m listening to, or how loud I crank it… but it just sounds FLAT.

I hope my stupid little stereo isn’t going on the fritz. That’s be great. I just sent the microwave down to the curb, and now the radio is just about ready to go on the edge and drop over the side… GREAT.

I don’t know how the pioneers lived without microwaves. I guess they didn’t know any better.

Who starts a letter with “Dear Sirs”? CLASSY OLD-SCHOOL DUDES, THAT’S WHO.

 

I Don’t Get It

I often drink out of the milk container so I don’t have to wash the glass. It’s my fucking milk. Either there’s going to be mouth germs on the side of the milk jug, or a dirty glass in the sink for four days. I think it’s probably more yucky for the glass to be in the sink for nearly a week.

So fuck that shit, I just stand in the kitchen drinking milk with the fridge door half open. At least I’m not doing the same with the wine bottle.

Odd

The woman living across the street from me crosses herself and mutters a hail mary under her breath every time she sees me. She doesn’t do this with the other neighbours. She waves hello and will have a whole conversation, but always starts with this odd religious thing, as if I don’t notice. It’s been going on for about three months now. I was outside picking the weeds out of my garden today, and she came outside to get her mail -  and there it was – the weird up down arm thing and then “hello, lovely day!” So weird.

That was…

… way too easy.

buh-bye!

It’s a Little Late…

But Merry Christmas just the same.

Happy Period Control!

This video is all of current, relevant, and hilarious.

Target Women: Birth Control

HOly what the HEll was THAt?

Oh my…

This is the worst flash video I’ve seen in a long time.

So I’m sharing it. Get it stuck in your head too.