Garbage

Just to see what all the fuss was about, I started watching episode one of Jersey Shore. By about the four minute mark, I knew I wasn’t going to like it, but I couldn’t even force myself to watch the entire episode. The show is mind-numbing trash. How did Trailer Park Boys make me laugh so hard, and yet true mind-numbingly painfully horrid trailer trash I can’t even sit through an entire episode?

If I had

a small utility knife, I could remove the ever-accumulating pile of pigeon crap that’s smeared and now frozen on my windshield.

Tim Horton’s is Branching Out

Our well loved Canadian coffee shop has been serving hash browns for several months if not a year now. I’ve got one today, and I must say, they should have just stuck to donuts and coffee. This thing is awful. Why did they bother?

Eggnog and Brandy are HORRIBLE…

Much like the title of this post, both wordpress and twitter have been reasonably annoying lately. Not until it was pointed out to me how horribly impractical wordpress is… Am I starting to dislike it. Login. My Dashboard. Posts. Add New. Title. Type a bunch. Categories. Formatting. Do I want a picture? Go find it. Add some html all over the place if I’d like it all fomatted-up and what-not. 

I thought I was just being lazy. 

Here’s a list of things that I’ve considered blogging about in the past month, but haven’t because it’s simply inconvenient:

-I went to see a play and really liked it. 

-My camera is a horrible piece of crap. 

-Why radio is so much terribly better than television even though this argument does make me sound like a bit of a hypocrite. 

-Fishies! Turdles!

-My neighbour who used to cross herself when she sees me has stopped doing so, and actually invited me over for coffee. For whatever reason, I declined and lied, saying I had to go to work in a few minutes. (I didn’t, but I was still thinking of the times she used to look at me sideways.) 

-I tend to use Twitter when I’m too lazy to blog. I hate Twitter. 

I’m beginning to think of switching to another platform, but at the same time, I’m aware that my problem might not be simply the fact that my software is an issue. I might dislike coming up with things to write about. I’m not entirely sure what the problem is. I haven’t updated my photographs in the past month whatsoever. It’s nearly January, and my December photolog doesn’t even exist yet, yikes. 

I should get on that. 

Ohhl Riight!

Despite not being around here for a little while, it’s been a very productive few weeks. This is possibly the funniest video I’ve seen in a little while. Written by Adriano Celentano in 1972 the title is such a mouthful that I can’t quite pronounce it, but that might just be the point. Recorded by Raffaella Carrà and Celentano, Prisencolinensinainciusol (that’s it! that’s the title! go back and try to read it! pick out the syllables! good luck!) is just a bunch of nonsense words, written as if they’re spoken in English, from an Italian’s perspective. It’s one thing to look at the man in the weird little suit, and the girls in the odd dresses and laugh, but it’s also an interesting piece to think about as far as learning languages and our abilities to pick up on tones and structures when they are only based on something we are familiar with. It’s  funny listening to this song wondering “is that what we sound like?” but it’s actually really plain to hear that, yes, that is what we sound like. It’s not hard to pick out the sounds of a language that a person has been listening to for their entire life even when the actual words have been completely annihilated. I don’t think that I would confuse this song for a song that was meant to be imitating a more harsh-sounding language even though English is the only language I’ve grown up speaking.

It’s a catchy little diddy!  Prisencolinensinainciusol:

Coffee Wreck

I was actually dressed rather half-nicely today in jeans and a dress shirt, but just as I was having my last sip of coffee, I managed to -once again- misjudge how much liquid was in the mug. I do this far too often for it to be a mistake, and I’m beginning to wonder if my coffee mugs have it out for me. First it was the appliances, now I’m looking sideways at the pottery. I’ve been doing this my whole life – what I assume to be the ‘last sip’ of coffee tends to be the equivalent of what could have been six last sips, and I end up tipping the mug up at too high of an angle (today while walking up the stairs), and -oops- there goes my drink down my shirt. Damn.

And that’s how I ended up wearing an Atari t-shirt to the office today.

Ugh,

Why is it that every time I THINK I’m going to spend the day being productive, and getting my ass in gear all I end up doing is cleaning the kitchen? I could spend my life cleaning the kitchen.

I made banana bread. Maybe I’ll dye my hair.

I doubt it.

TTC Fare Hike

The TTC is raising its fare again, and thus far, the only change I’ve spotted is one of its drivers sitting in a little cage. I went to say hello to him, and then wasn’t quite sure how to engage this poor caged animal in conversation. Either a bank teller or a lion, one or the other is driving this bus, but neither was able to talk to me through the pin holes poked in the plastic surrounding his seat. How absurd. Is this what my extra quarter is paying for?

Fishing!

Fun things:
1) I got to run around all day with an Ugly Stick.
2) The Toronto Islands are absolutely deserted at this time of year so you can run around and do just about whatever you want including riding stationary bikes in the middle of a field – seriously.
3) Fillin’ up Fiji water bottles with tap water can trick you into thinking that you’re drinking glacier water even when it’s just plain old Toronto lake water.

Xwrap something purple shiny fun Lure

All we caught was this lovely milkbag, and I dutifully threw it in the trash, and what a fun day it was nonetheless!

I Love Editors

Whether they’re working for a newspaper, a publishing house, a book company, or something as simple a grading a million student-written essays, editors just rock my world. Seeing what someone thought to be their final draft just ripped to shreds with red ink all over the page somehow gloriously makes my day a little brighter. Maybe it’s the fact that no one ever sees them. They hide deep in the caves and dungeons of offices, keeping to themselves, making all the CEOs and writers and public speakers seem smarter, brighter and sharper.

They may live in the armpits of offices, but they’re apparently not a group to go down without a fight. When The Toronto Star announced several cutbacks earlier this week,  one such editor went to work on the memo announcing said changes.

Click through for the larger image.

Written by John Cruickshank, glorified to high Heaven likely by an underpaid editor.

From The Torontoist